Radio Esoterica III

esOTeRica

THINGS THAT WILL MAKE SENSE ONLY
TO THOSE WHO LISTEN TO 'OLD TIME RADIO'

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   The sightless but superbly sighted character
of Baynard Kendrick's novels
was seen portrayed by James Franciscus on tv in 1971,
but he had been heard earlier on radio in 1946
in an episode of Suspense called 'Out Of Control.'
   Brian Donlevy's delivery is halting on radio,
but he's likable here as a blind sleuth
who uses toothy dogs as a guide and a weapon—
a harmless one called Schnuke,
and a potential killer called Driest on dangerous cases.
(Pronounce these names in the German manner,
because they're Shepherds--get it?)
   Donlevy's co-star is Cathy Lewis,
who's always fun when she sounds
like Marie Windsor in these Suspense thrillers.
   As a matter of fact, this one ends with a fatal fight
between Driest and the bitch fatale.

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   In the Suspense episode 'The Long Wait,'
a revenge-minded man seems to soften
and change his mind about the people responsible
for his brother's death.
   This excellent Burt Lancaster hardboiler starts starkly
but simmers down halfway into a Damon Runyon runny-yolk affair.
   Or so it seems.
   Listen to the egg explode, shard and shell, in the last scene.

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   A couple runs out of gas in the vicinity of a mental hospital
from which an insane woman has just escaped 'after fatally butchering
a doctor, a nurse, and a ward attendant with a meat cleaver.'
   The latest gory slasher movie?
   No, it's a 1950 episode of Suspense called 'On a Country Road,'
starring... Cary Grant.
   Two more productions were done in 1954 and another in 1959,
all coming up short for lack of Cary. Jeanette Nolan does appear
in the first, second, and fourth, getting progressively scarier.
The second features real-life couple Frank Lovejoy and Joan Banks,
and the transcription has a clearer sound, so you can pick up snippets
of dialogue you couldn't make out in the first production—
like the name of the town near Long Island, Center Moriches,
which all eight actors mumble as Santa Mauritius or Central Marshes.
   Listen and compare all four versions,
stay clear of that 'lonely tarred road' and any 'decapitated bodies,'
and don't forget the folly in those famous last words:
"There's still a couple of gallons left when the point says empty."

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   Frustration awaits the Rod Cameron fan who wants
to hear him on radio--alas, he appeared in only three dramas.
   The Proudly We Hail episode 'Round-Up In Madison Square'
is hard to find, and Family Theater's 'The Black Tulip,'
although a curiosity to those of us who garden,
doesn't end the way Rod Cameron movies should.
Stars Over Hollywood's 'Latitude Thirteen North'
suffers from poor sound, the volcano is unconvincing,
and Cameron's character is mostly petulant.
In other words, he did nothing on radio
like his fun Republic cowboy movies.
   You want movie cowboys on radio? Listen instead
to Joel McCrea and James Stewart.

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